Drifting

I think I waited to late to become an adult. It seems to take practice and I skipped it to long. It seems like I took my retirement first then starting out in life to make it secure and productive towards some end or other now that I am old. At least that is my story to myself today, because I have not been responsible, again. Taking care of life as a thing used to get where you want to go is very tricky and you have to learn your own rules, even if its just to break them. It is hard to do what is called working, doing your job, making money. Or at least it is for me, because it seems to take time. That's the hardest part, where do you fit that in, work? But as I had found out, one can't go too many decades without settling down to what's ahead without missing something that should be part of it all. But its so easy to put off work, when you are your own boss, especially if you aren't a boss.

Another day in Mexico passes, the last of the sunset set streaked with deep red and the piece of moon showing will be a deep orange again tonight because of the hills burning from fires started on their own from heat and dryness. I have drifted away from the news again, its so easy to do. Moving away from what is ugly and offensive. But my awareness has not dulled, one can feel the coming catastophre of the fall of America in the very atmosphere, like one of those surround sound speakers I have heard of. We get asked now and again what we contribute as humans, but is that really important, just as long as we don't take more than what is balanced? Real answers are simple, glaringly apparent when displayed plainly. What good are fine beliefs if you don't live them? What good is knowledge if your only going to repeat what you learned, not what you know because what you know is buried under all those fragmented layers of this so called schooling process.

I suppose the simple answer here is, I should be keeping track of work records before I forget again, instead of entertaining myself with my blog. I am not sure what I have accomplished in life so far, but whatever it is, it makes me feel very good about who I am and what I do. If you cant be proud of yourself then you haven't lived right. But life never takes care of itself on its own from your past merits, you have to keep on trying. And that means always taking that chance to make your own life better and that of those around you, simply and respectfully and responsibly.

Now, hopefully, back to important work, if a puppy does not cry or a horn honk at the gate, or I misplaced the papers again. Plus I have to find the right working music too, hopefully that won't take long.